today

today i was depressed i just wanted to sleep... god i wish i could have just slept all day but i cant
i got up and took care of my little man
i hate depression it makes me want to sleep and if i cant sleep i want to eat bad things
and since i cant sleep because of my baby i eat
and sometimes just feel like a bad mom in general because i would rather be sleepin than doin anything else
but thank god im not one of those ppl that depression gets them so bad they cant take care of anything including their kids
i think i just need a job
i hate not working i feel useless
i cant wait until i start school again
i cant wait until i get motivation
but i just need to figure out how to get motivation
im not a motiviated person
i need motiviation badly
i want to get up early every morning and have a set schedule w/ eating and working out and things but i cant
but im hopin things change i plan on tryin to make things change
like i said before im starting w/ baby steps
after all baby steps are better than no steps right?
so my goals in the next year
save money
go to school
get active
lose 40-50 lbs
get lasik surgery
i want to start riding my bike this summer im gonna buy a baby seat for my bike or a trailer or something so my baby can come too
one lesson i have learned the past few weeks never leave your phone number w/ colleges they are like bill collectors they never leave you alone!